wtf.

last night was hell night. i got into this fight. bruised. pained. i admit defeat and retreat to my foxhole. i know i did wrong. it was my fault to pry into someone else's life. oh my god, how do i deal with this trust issues now? basically my hunches and doubts put me into trouble. im trying so hard not to get myself hurt, but in the end, i was the one who placed myself on the fire to be burned. the one who pulled the trigger, with the gun pointed to my head.

i was right, if u love someone, u should just say it. show it. not, when you're breaking up, then u start revealing ur plans, telling that someone his/her value. that would only hurt that other person more. regrets would make the living harder. aching would then become too real. i was afraid to break, but now am broken. to the tiniest bit, to my last piece. i am broken. no regrets. hurt and angry. why does people have to concern to this? why does things has to be shared? even relationship? why are there too friendly people? i hate what happend last night. it was hell. agonizing. should have been slapped that battered with words that would cut through my soul. maybe for as long as my heart beats. it would beat with each word uttered. each word which should have not been representative of the truth, but they were ever so real. and happening. oh my god. change my heart. empty my mind from the memories of pain. i want to forget. i dont care about forgiving.