Christmas in a few more days...

It's the most wonderful time of the year.

Long Distance Relationship.

Yes, I miss you.

Too many times a day.

BAD DREAM. Happy thoughts.

I had a bad dream last night.  It was the worst dream.  I was not even thinking about it, it was about the time when people are already controlled by the “darklord”.  In that dream, people were segregated, I don’t know their basis for segregation, but there was nowhere to hide.  I was with my family, but we got separated, there were too many people and the “army” scare the hell out of people, that people would not talk or dare ask questions!  I walked so fast without looking back, because I was thinking of going to the farthest part of the big venue as possible. I ended up with someone else.  I had to go back and look for my family; I had to walk fast and unnoticeable.  I found them, my mother and brother, but my brother was crying because they lost my sister, his girlfriend and our little baby among the throng of people.  I woke up with that scene in my mind.  It scared me.  

After a long weekend, weekend started Friday then ended Monday by the way, then the BAD DREAM. Oh what a way to end it?!  I was busy the whole time, busy obsessing about Pinoy Big Brother Double Up.  The Bagyong ISSA was revealed last night; the Housemates would all be finally in the same house.  No more House A or House B.  For those who want to know I’m a MELASON at heart, the most liked and loved tandem. Get to know them at http://doubleup.pinoybigbrother.com/ .  Follow them on twitter: ilovemelason .

This weekend someone least liked will walk out of the Big Brother House.  Who might it be?

Type BB MARIEL send to 231 for SMART and Talk and Text Subcribers and 2331 for Globe, Touch Mobile and Sun Cellular Subcscribers.

2012?

The movie 2012 is going to be out on Friday, 13^th of November.  Should I be afraid?  I have heard about December 21, 2012, long before the movie was plugged.  It was all over.  There’s satansrapture.com.  The Bible Code I & II which were written by Michael Drosnin, I think also mentioned 2012.  Then there’s this documentary December 21, 2012.  It was foretold by the Mayan and many other foretellers from different countries.  It was mentioned in the documentary.  I haven’t watched it, but I burn copies for my boss and his friends.  Maybe I should watch it one of these days.  The narrator sounded so boring that I always have second thoughts. LOL.  Anyway, there are so many contrasting ideas with regards to this end-of-the-world thingy.  We can’t stop the years.  Let’s just make the most out of it. 

do the blog-walk

I am enjoying this blog-walking. It is something new to me. Advantage is you could leave a message to the owner of the blog you have visited through the chatbox, and then they could visit you back if they wish too.  You get to explore a lot of blogsites and share some ideas.  I just wish I could understand their language; it would have been cool reading and learning about them, their culture and all.  Well, pictures do say a lot too and I enjoy looking at them. Sadly, I don’t have lots of pictures to share.  Maybe sometime soon, since Christmas means lots of pictures too. Happy moments with family and friends, like gift giving and family get-together not to mention good food. Oh so looking forward.  

More blogs to visit and explore.

Hear me. Amen.

Prayer for Relationships

Lord Jesus, you are the source of all love and goodness.

You have created us to love and be loved and you have given us our family, friends and loved ones to experience this love.

I come to you now humbly asking for healing as I suffer now because of a broken relationship.

Grant me, Lord, the grace of true forgiveness, to let go of all my bitterness, anger and buried resentments and choose to forgive even if it hurts.

I ask that you grant me the grace of humility to ask forgiveness, too, for my own mistakes and for patience and perseverance to keep on in this journey towards reconciliation despite the challenges and trials along the way.

Lord, you know all things, you can do all things and you love me as you also love B--.

Touch our heart with your power that can heal all damaged relationships and bring reconciliation realizing the importance of being at peace with ourselves and others.

Let all blaming ease and let each person see things from your point of view and through your eyes of love.

Let your love break down all dividing walls and barriers, restore this damaged relationship and lead us to seek and follow your will and divine plan for our lives. Let joy rest in our hearts once again.

This is a re-post from a multiply blog.

Sorry I forgot the multiply name. 

But thanks to you.

that scent...hmmm.

I was an active person back in my college days and not so particular with fragrances, but I have a few which were given to me as gifts. My all-time favorite has got to be Burberry for Women.  I really think that it is perfect for me back then and until now.  It has a perky and sweet smell that I never get tired of. It always made me feel that I am ready for the day and the date later that day. Unfortunately, it was all consumed so I used my other bottle of perfume which also smells nice only that it lacks that perky fragrance that I have got used to.

Just a few days ago, I have met someone who was wearing my favorite scent, just then that I realized how I truly missed it.  I have got to go and get another bottle of my Burberry for Women.

My officemate seems to have all those expensive bottle of perfumes; they were from her son who works abroad.  There are those that smell sweet but there are also those which stink, but me, I got to stick to my favorite.

Ouch, but I love it.

This touched my pride and broke my heart.  I found this on youtube and I took some time to watch and then copy the words in MSWord. So I could ponder on the words better.  I copied everything, including the grammar and spelling.  But, I appreciated how he took time to ponder about the Philippines.  I wonder if Filipinos have done the same.  Many took this negatively, but this is his opinion.  We should respect it.  

A short essay about the Philippines

Remember this word love

Filipinos always complain about the corruption in the Philippines. Do you really think the corruption is the problem of the Philippines?  I do not think so. I strongly believe that the problem is the lack of love for the Philippines.

Let me first talk about my country, Korea.  It might help you understand my point. After the Korean War, Sout Korea was one of the poorest countries in the world. Koreans had to start from scratch because the entire country was destroyed after the Korean War, and we had no natural resources.  Koreans used to talk about the Philippines, for Filipinos were very rich in Asia.

We envy Filipinos. Koreans really wanted to be well off like Filipinos.  Many Koreans died of famine.  My father and brother also died because of famine.  Korean government was very corrupt and is still very corrupt beyond your imagination, but Korea was able to develop dramatically because Koreans really did their best for the common good with their heart burning with patriotism.

Koreans did not work just for themselves but also for their neighborhood and country.  Education inspired young men with the spirit of patriotism.

40 yrs ago, President Park took over the government to reform Korea.  He tried to borrow money from other countries, but it was not possible to get a loan and attract a foreign investment because the economic situation of South Korea was so bad. Korea had only three factories.  So, President Park sent many mine workers and nurses to Germany so that they could send money to Korea to build a factory.  They had to go through horrible experience.

In 1964, President Park visited Germany to borrow money.  Hundred of Koreans in Germany came to the airport to welcome him and cried there as they saw the President Park.  They asked to him, “President, when can we be well off?”

That was the only question everyone asked to him.  President Park cried with them and promised them that Korea would be well off if everyone works hard for Korea, and the President of Germany got the strong impression on them and lent money to Korea.

So, President Park was able to build many factories in Korea.  He always asked Koreans to love their country from their heart.

Many Korean Scientists and Engineers in the USA came back to Korea to help developing country because they wanted their country to be well off.  Though they received very small salary, they did their best for Korea.

They always hoped that their children would live in well off country.  My parents always brought me to the places where poor and physically handicapped people live.  They wanted me to understand their life and help them. I also worked for Catholic Church when I was in the army.  The only thing I learned from Catholic Church was that we have to love our neighborhood.  And, I have loved my neighborhood.

Have you cried for the Philippines?  I have cried for my country several times.  I also cried for the Philippines because of so many poor people.

I have been to the New Bilibid Prison.  What made me sad in the prison were the prisoners who do not have any love for their country.  They go to mass and work for church.

They pray every day.  However, they do not love the Philippines.  I talked to two prisoners at the maximum-security compound, and both of them said that they would leave the Philippines right after they are released from the prison.  They said that they would start a new life in other countries and never come back to the Philippines.  Many Koreans have a great love for Korea so that we were able to share our wealth with our neighborhood.

The owners of factory and company were distributed their profit to their employees fairly so that employees could buy what they needed and saved money for the future and their children.

When I was in Korea, I had a very strong faith and wanted to be a priest.  However, when I came to the Philippines, I completely lost my faith.

Many unbelievable situations in the Philippines.  Street kids always make me sad, and I see them every day.  The Philippines is the only Catholic country in Asia, but there are too many poor people here.  People go to church every Sunday to pray, but nothing has changed.

My parents came to the Philippines and saw this situation.  They told me that Korea was much poorer than the present Philippines when they were young.  They are sorry that there are so many beggars and street kids.

When we went to Pasangjan, I forced my parents to take a boat because it would be fun.  However, they were not happy after taking a boat.  They said that they would not take the boat again because they were sympathized the boatmen, for the boatmen were very poor and had a small frame.  Most of people just took a boat and enjoyed it. But, my parents did not enjoy it because of love for them.

My mother who has been working for Catholic Church since I was very young told me that if we just go to mass without changing ourselves, we are not Catholic indeed.  Faith should come with action.  She added that I have to love Filipinos and do good things for them because all of us are same and have received a great love from God. 

I want Filipinos to love their neighborhood and country as much as they love God so that the Philippines will be well off.  I am sure that love is the keyword, which Filipinos should remember.  We cannot change the sinful structure at once.  It should start from person.  Love must start in everybody, in a small scale and have to grow.  A lot of things happen if we open up to love.  Let’s put away our prejudices and look at our worries with our new eyes.

I discover that every person is worthy to be loved.  Trust in love, because it makes changes possible.  Love changes you and me.  It changes people, contexts and relationships.  It changes the world.  Please love your neighborhood and country.  Jesus Christ said that whatever we do to others we do to him.

In the Philippines, there is a God for people who are abused and abandoned.  There is God who is crying for love.  If you have a child, teach them how to love the Philippines.  Teach them why they have to love their neighborhood and country.  You already know that God also will be very happy if you love others.

That’s all I really want to ask you Filipinos.

Mood: Currently Sleepy ^_^

I know I haven't posted in a while.  Sometimes I just ran out of things to write and when I'm at home there are just plenty of things to do.  I am currently reading Da Vinci Code.  I haven't watched the movie version yet, maybe soon. 

I am a fan of books, but I rarely watch a full-length movie.  Even when I’m watching it on big screen, I still fall in a nap.  My boyfriend has to wake me up.  Growing up, my parents would take me and my siblings to watch a good movie and I really used to sleep on it.  I remembered watching Jurassic Park and missing out on the important details, waking up and realizing that it’s almost time to go home. Good movie gone to waste. 

I am planning to make a list of movies I should watch.  First on the list would be transformers and the notebook too.  I am so looking forward to the screening of Twilight Saga: Newmoon.  It would be on November, but I still don’t know when it will come out here in the Philippines.  Something to drool on again, still can’t decide if I am an Edward Cullen or a Jacob Black camp, or maybe both.  I love werewolves and yeah, vampires!

October 4, 2009

It's not about getting wet. It's about getting emersed in water.

Ondoy the storm has left the country, but not after it caused damage to properties and from last update, at least 10 deaths.  Devastation was everywhere.  How come there was that much water?  Imagine reaching up to the third floor of houses or buildings.  Plenty was trapped, cold, scared and hungry.  It was an inevitable event, an act of God.  It does not choose who you are and your status in life.  It just happens. 

The Philippines is a rich country. It is rich in labor resources and natural resources, but sometimes it becomes poor in spirit, because of national issues.  People get confused and they start to take side. That’s when conflicts arise.  Times like this, when majority are needing help, Filipinos unite and promote a common cause.  Help for the victims.  Then Filipinos are reminded of the tradition that our fathers’ fathers are proud of “Bayanihan”. 

This is one positive effect when nature takes its course.

September 25, 2009

Think about your pet and your neighbor's.

Animal Rights.  This has always been subjected to different opinions and there is always a widespread violation.  There are groups dealing with animal rights and promoting animal welfare, yet it is a sad thing that numerous of people remained to be uneducated or rather unaffected.  It is their choice, weren’t we once told that ignorance is bliss?  They do not feel guilty over the killings and maltreatment of these animals.  They continue to enjoy eating the meat of what we all know “man’s bestfriend”.  They continue to bet on horse-fighting, bull-fighting, and even dog-fighting. 

Can you imagine the absurdity?  There is this animal, you cared for it, you make it feel loved, you nourished it, the animal feeling lucky and you having in mind involving this creature into a fight, for you to bet on it, hope to heavens that it wins, so this would earn you m-o-n-e-y.  This is outright cruelty.  What would you feel? 

September  21, 2009

Love. Love. Love.

An officemate just got back from his trip with his wife.  They just got married. How cool is that?  He lends us a copy of his pre-nuptial and footages from his actual wedding.  The wedding was beautiful.  

It made me think.  It is indeed true, when they say that falling in love with the same woman, three times.  For me those times were:  The time when you got to know the girl and developed an admiration for her (often we label it as love), second was when she finally said yes to you after wooing her (for who knows how long...), then third was the day you married her.  The third time has the greatest impact.  Because that's when someone realizes that they will be together from that moment until forever, as lovers, as friends, as allies, as playmates, then later as parents.  They would have goals together and take care of their own little family.  What a sweet thought! 

Listening to beautiful songs would make u feel butterfly in your stomach.  Love is real.  You can see it.  You can feel it.

September 16, 2009

Have a happy Sunday! =)

It's Sunday here. 

I am done with my laundry; actually I just washed three pairs of pants, manually.  Beat that.  First, I soaked them in water without the detergent, in that way some of the dirt and dusts will be removed or at least will be easier to remove.  Gadgets used:  3 basins/pails, old toothbrush, a water dipper.  I think it's actually instincts on how to do the laundry.  But there are rules.  Whites should be separate from the colored clothes and there are clothes that specify on how to wash them.  So you must be vigilant. hahaha.

Anyway, have to enjoy the rest of this day.  Tomorrow it's back to work again.  If only I could fly.  Fly to the highest part of the sky. 

September 12, 2009

If hugs were only free.

If hugs were only free.
I'd give one now so willingly.
If it could cheer you, no more blues,
I'd give you not just one, but two.
-----
Hugs are therapeutic.  It eases your pain.  
Hug me. x-o-x-o-x


September 12, 2009

morning comes...

I'm late for work again.  I couldn't find my keys.  I needed them because I locked my desk drawers, that if I went to work without them, I won't have some things done.  How many times does something like this has to happen?  If only that it is just like our cellular phones, we could make them ring to locate where we misplaced them.  It's time consuming and very, very irritating.  When you realized at the last minute that your keys are not where you thought they are and you are running out of time.  

I should keep in mind to place important stuff where I could easily find them.  They should just be on top of my study table, or the dining table or in one of my "organizer's" pocket.  Or maybe I should not just change bag everyday.  Oh dear.  I'm hating this.  Give me a key detector or key ringer.  Or a better memory.  Funny.

Anyways, I won't allow this to ruin my day.  I still have 20 more hours for this day.  

September 11, 2009

TREKPAY is NOT trick-pay

Today was better.  I found out through a forum that there are real trekpay site members.  The best part is you don't have to pay for anything.  Just join by registering, then you can start browsing through the links made available to you.  Then you will be given credits for it.   Read all the details on the homepage, just follow instructions, they are important.  The key? Patience and referrals.  Perfect when you have all the means to click.  I'm building my referrals up, so if you want to help me, click on this and register : http://www.trekpay.com/?ref=57265 

If you happen to pass by this blog, could you make a suggestion on what would be a nice topic to write about.  Politics and the global economic crisis are out of my list.  They are too real.  Maybe something beautiful. Like love.  LOL. I'm being dreamy again.


Goodnight.


September 11, 2009

^_,^

I sort of made myself a promise to make a daily blog, but I'm a bit of tired today.  I'm so tempted to try those get rich stuff you see on the internet, but there are a lot of things you should do and learn before getting involved on those stuff.  It appears like it's as easy as 1, 2, 3, but you have to understand the process and there are always risk involved.  


I wanted to do something brainy instead.  Whatever that is.  


Goodbye for now.


September 10, 2009

Sleep all day.

I wonder if that is okay.  If only I could sleep all day.  I had a sleepless night because I volunteered to watch over my grandma. She was admitted at the hospital because she had difficulty breathing 4 days ago.  So this morning I went to work with my dizzy head.  Did not even ate lunch because I chose to sleep.  I found some crackers in my drawer, so I ate them hurriedly 'cause lunch break had just ended.  That only helped for 30 minutes, I was so hungry and sleepy.  Just tired.  I was wishing that I could sleep the whole day.  If only.  

I was struggling to stay up while waiting for the bell to ring at 1700Hrs.  I passed the time reading an e-book on Angels and Demons by Dan Brown.  My boss was busy doing his stuff and I was just waiting for him to call on me.  I printed some articles for him.  Then happily heard the bell rang.  Oh! Sweet music to my ears.

On the way home, I thought of cooking.  Squash for dinner.  I have the recipe in mind as per advised by my bestfriend.  Looking forward to the effort I was going to make.  

As I have arrived home.  First thing first.  Changed into my house clothes, turn on my PC, then checked on for food.  Best thing, my mom left food for me. Yahooo.  No need for effort.   I ate my heart out.  

Up until now, am still awake.  Blogging.  I'm making this my daily habit.  Though I do  not have that important stories to tell, yet it seems nice sharing it like this.  It does not matter who gets to read this, or if someone would care to read this.  Through this, it feels like someone is listening. 

September 9, 2009

Self-evaluation.

I worked as an office assistant, which means, I should work to please my boss.   I do errands, sometimes, not only for my boss, but for everyone who needs it.  Just like any other days, there are bad days and better days.  Best days happen during payday.  Basic office works like record/tally records from Production Inventory Report, then summarize the important details from the Daily Production Report.  Every end of the month, I summarized the different departments' report (of course with revisions from my boss).  My boss is so keen on details, he immediately sees the need for corrections.  Sometimes I take my job for granted.  So when asked about things, I am not ready with the answers.  I am trying to change that now.  I am learning to be critical, like I already read the reports submitted to my boss, make sure the papers are complete before forwarding them to the next department.  

Most of all, I am learning to enjoy what I do everyday, and I leave it in the work place whatever happened in a bad day.

I won't end here.  There are more things I want to do.  Law school is definitely on the list.  After the review and passing the board.   Nice things to come.  Nice things and I am going to make them happen.

See?  I do not have to prove myself to you, but I have to be pleasant to the one who pays me for my service.  LOL.  

I am not a busy person.  I always have time to blog. =)

September 8, 2009

Accomplished.

Mission Accomplished.  About the cleaning part.  Finally, I have freed up some space on my study table.  I collected trash, small paper bits, tags,  receipts, etc.  Put away some stuff which I don't regularly use and made a mental note to remember where I placed them.

I love organizers, those zipped up bags which have those ready compartments for my random stuffs.  I'm not that "kikay", but still I'm a girl.  I have organizers for my bags, my headbands and other accessories.   I have those plastic boxes for my other bags, books, other notes and papers, I have a separate box for my PC stuffs, like cable wires and all.  I have made a box and covered it with purple cartolina for my handicrafts.   I have few unfinished crochet projects, they are bags again.  I'm hoping to finish one within the next 2 weeks.  I have bought materials for those beaded projects, but never got to the point of putting my creativity in action.  (hahaha).  

Maybe, I'm the kind of person who wants to have a little of everything and know a little of everything.  But I know I'm really good when I want it that bad.   

I want to be the best.   I want to be the color pink or the fiery red.    

September 8, 2009

Love the new look...

I'm so loving my blog page's new look.  Simple and pretty, just like me.  :) I got the layout for free, check it on one of my buttons towards the end.  

Right now, I am having my period. With it, comes my mood swings.  Sometimes I get depressed by the little things and get bothered by people around me.  Moody and lazy.  I was sleeping from 1 PM to 4 PM.  I know that I should be cleaning up my room.  

I'm trying something online: http://www.trekpay.com/?ref=57265 .  Try and check it out too.  It's worth a try.   I have not seen the outcome yet, but maybe we could explore this together.  This was just referred to me by a friend. 

After this entry, I promise that I would start cleaning my room.  It's cramped and messy.  But I love it.

September 7, 2009

wedding bells or should i just get a puppy?

I saw this video on youtube.  It was a wedding entrance dance.  The song was perfect and I really think that the idea was cute and sweet, even when it was non-traditional.  It was funny and it makes me teary and dreamy.  What would my wedding be like? Before I had my first boyfriend,  I was idealistic.  A perfectionist.  My perfect wedding with my soul mate.  The guy who loves me dearly.  The one who would want to marry me and wanted me to be his wife and the mother of his children.


I can't wait to get married and take care of my own little family.  I love babies. Those tiny thing you hold dearly in your arms.  Too fragile.  Too loved and wanted. Oh my God, I am so jealous.  My girlfriend just gave birth to her second child already.  I just saw a cousin at my aunt's birthday who already has her second baby too.  Most people I know are either parents or expecting.  I wanted my baby too.  


I am looking forward to that day...Should marriage come first?  In this modern age, people would consider it a risk to get married when you are not yet pregnant.  Should I be pressured that I am still not settling down?  When my parental instincts are sometimes too strong and I am longing to become a mom...what should I do?  Should I just get myself a puppy?


September 6, 2009

I do.

People I know, people my age are either settling down or getting on top of their careers. What am I doing down here? Am I satisfied or simply don't have a choice? Maybe I am too lazy and worries about other things instead.

This happens when you care about the things around you. Care or was I just making excuses again? I don't take responsibility for my actions, I always seemed to blame it on other people. Like, they could have made things easier for me, or they could have paid special attention to me. I am such an attention seeker. Though sometimes I seem not to care, but your approval means a lot to me.

Even when I don't understand. I just keep my mouth shut, because I don't want you telling that I don't understand. I stop asking questions, because I have asked you these plenty of times, but you never gave me the answer I want.

But I sure do hope you would continue to understand me. There are broken pieces of me. Pieces that I am searching for. Pieces that you might be holding in your hands right now.



September 2, 2009

Good Morning.

Good morning sunshine. You're my only love. :)

What's in store for me today? My never-ending routine. Wake up. Coffee + Pandesal. Bath. Get dressed. Then ride a habal-habal to tominobo crossing. Then take a Suarez line jeepney towards the city. Do a marathon walk to get to the post office where I could get on a Dalipuga liner jeepney. Then hope to heavens that I don't arrive late to work. Even if my contract won't be extended for next year, the least I could get is an excellent recommendation letter. I'm hoping to get a job online too. Just like my B. So I could just stay home to do the work and earn in dollars. I could go back to reviewing my Accounting lessons too. For Board exam purposes. Hope to heavens again that I would make it in the nth time around. Yehey! That's something to look forward too. Aside from my Sing trip with my sis by January.

Anyway, I'm learning to take control of myself and my emotions. Though sometimes I say the wrong words, I know I'm getting there. I'm tired of hanging around here.

August 31, 2009

Pictures.

my baby...

my angel...

pride and joy.

with the boyfriend.
taken a few hours ago.
i would have loved to take picture around their house,
but I think they're not just the "picture" type people.
better luck next time for me.
i love their place, it's solemn and relaxing.

August 31, 2009

HELP.

I'm 26, yet there is a lot about life that I should learn. Responsibility is something I should be taking seriously right now. No more excuses, but be more committed to development, changes.

Here are the things I would like to learn this year, I know it's stupid that at this point of my life I still don't know these things:

1) Learn to cook. I know how to fry though; fish, eggs, porkchop, hotdog, etc.
2) Learn how to drive. So I could come and go as I want. I could drive for my mom or my boyfriend.
3) Learn how to budget: Money. I always ran out of cash, even when I have not bought anything. LOL. Time. So I won't be late to work ever again plus I would find time for studying.
4) There's still a lot I wanted to learn. I just thought that my top three is the most essential.

My friend thinks that I'm not ready for marriage until I learn how to cook and budget money and time. Well, he's right.


August 25, 2009

countdown to nothing.

Today is almost coming to an end, but it feels like nothing happened. It just came and in a few hours this day would go. My day to day life has become routinary. And I haven't saved that much money to afford a vacation. But I'm planning to have one by October, just so I could get out of this place. For a while. For 2 - 3 days perhaps. Experience something else, something new. Like lazy around in a beach resort...just listening to the waves the wind creates. Music playing in my earphones, as I look on to what I would want my tomorrow be. My life has been nothing but ordinary. There's nothing to brag about. I can't even pretend that there's something exciting going on.

I am not making things happen. The once-in-my-life-i-was is happening. I used to be headstrong and stubborn. Wanting everything to happen my way. I have let go of my old self. Idealism has been washed away by reality. I can not make things happen.

My want, my ideas, my will change everyday. I know I can still make things happen. The essence of life is not about having someone to share it with, but being complete in your own. So by the time life chooses you a partner to share it with, you know you have all of yourself to share. Smile. :)

August 24, 2009

:'(

Sad news in the morning. Our officemate's newborn angel was not able to make it to live to see the world. It was sad. Nine months in her tummy. Getting ready. Waiting for her. I could imagine she has already her first set of clothes, socks, diapers, and they will be pink. And everybody is excited to take a glimpse of her to see who's eyes she got. Plans about her future. Maybe her would be, three-year-old kuya has already been told that he's already a "kuya". The little boy might be excited for his little sister too.

I was told that, It happened because it was not meant to be. So it just has to be let go. Poor baby. Poor parents. If only, but it wasn't.

August 20, 2009

while u were sleeping.

Here's something I wrote while I was tending our sari-sari store.

I could only write when I'm hurting or confused or insecure. But it's hard to write when I'm satisfied and moving on with my day to day as I have thought my day would be. I'm not even thinking. It's just like I'm floating. Time moves so swiftly, even before the day's events sank in, another day is already happening. No wonder that even before an issue is resolved another is already brewing up. Attention are then diverted to this new issue, hence the cold cases.

Here's an awkward story:

I have always been alone. I like being alone. I'm getting used to the feeling of longing for someone. When the missing comes from the bottommost part of your lungs that you have to shake yourself hard to make your breathing normal. Damn. It makes you tremble, trembling and panicky. Where are you? Are you still coming? I did not notice the time, but there's too much change in everything that it's impossible not to be able to tell. Have I waited that long? Oh, I haven't looked at the mirror lately...really? I have stray white hairs? Oh my god. Do I have age lines visible? I was sleeping and woke up only now. I floated through time. I was waiting for him. That just like in a fairytale, my prince is just going to come and kiss me and wake me up. Back to life and back to living. Darn, I missed a lot already. I was not expecting that my prince will take this long. Where is he now? Have you seen him? No? Well, if you do, will you please remind him about me. Thank you, I will just be here waiting.


Oh, finally you are here. I thought you forgot. I was sleeping, did not want to wake up until you are here, but I was awaken by the mad dash of changes. I was not able to ignore them. Do I look different now? Yeah, my youth has gone, but my curves are still evident. Indeed I have stray white hairs and laugh lines. It makes me look sexier, right? I am all woman now. Grown. Too bad, I have slept in, I haven't enjoyed and discovered life to its extent. I have been sleeping. To pass the time. You look more handsome now. Where have you been? It seems like you have been busy somewhere? What made you forget about our promise? Woman? Oh, tell me about it over coffee.


You fell for another woman? That's unfortunate! Where is she now? What is she like? What's most important is now you're here. I missed you. I missed this. Hold my hand. It's been awhile. I'm sorry if I could not stop my tears. I'm overwhelmed. I'm so glad that you are here. Who is this woman who made you forget that I was waiting? So what happened? You two started fighting? Aren't all relationships bound to go through that? It's okay now. I'm here. You're back now. You know I will always understand. I'm just sorry I was asleep. I was sleeping that I was not able to go looking for you. Now you are here and I am up and ready for any chasing, for any finding. No more waiting. No more sleeping.


That's enough talking. We have our whole lives ahead for all of that. Thank you for coming back.


Goodnight dear. Now we are in each others' arms, we could sleep soundly and I will be looking forward to waking up tomorrow and seeing you like this. Doing things together. I missed this. Your warmth. The comfort and security your presence cause me.


I was hard-headed and in denial that I just slept even when I know I should go and look for you. I'm sorry. I love you. This will be another beginning of our ever after.

I don't know how to end it...so it's just as is.


August 16, 2009

not much.

Getting online is one of my necessities, even when there's really nothing much for me to do on the web. Just unending browsing. It's just comforting that you could access the rest of the world anytime. There's instant messaging, video calling, and the web search. These makes all other things easy.

We don't have lots of choices for our internet service provider here in our lousy city. Our first internet choice was okay but then there are lots of times when I couldn't connect because the network signal is poor. It was for a year contract. It was a relief when the contract ended so we could finally try another ISP. Then our next internet connection is such a failure. Failure in every way. We have it for five months already, it's a shame that it is still not stable until now. They have troubleshoot it plenty of times. Still it's not giving us the kind of service we expected from a major provider. I could say that our previous connection was way better than our present.

I am looking forward to the time when it finally is stable because I already have my own PC set-up in my room. I could study online. Get jobs online. So there is actually something I am doing while on the net.

I am counting. 1, 2, 3...



August 14, 2009

i love pink.

As I was searching on google for some pink daisies pictures, I came by this photo stream on flicker. The owner just loves pink and other cheerful colors. Just like me. They are such get-happy photos. I hope it's okay with the owner. I'll post the link here so you could see them for yourselves. Here is the link : www.flickr.com/photos/pinksherbet/sets . I hope u enjoy the photos as I have enjoyed them. I'm screaming - I love Pink! now. :)


August 12, 2009