Pictures.

my baby...

my angel...

pride and joy.

with the boyfriend.
taken a few hours ago.
i would have loved to take picture around their house,
but I think they're not just the "picture" type people.
better luck next time for me.
i love their place, it's solemn and relaxing.

August 31, 2009

HELP.

I'm 26, yet there is a lot about life that I should learn. Responsibility is something I should be taking seriously right now. No more excuses, but be more committed to development, changes.

Here are the things I would like to learn this year, I know it's stupid that at this point of my life I still don't know these things:

1) Learn to cook. I know how to fry though; fish, eggs, porkchop, hotdog, etc.
2) Learn how to drive. So I could come and go as I want. I could drive for my mom or my boyfriend.
3) Learn how to budget: Money. I always ran out of cash, even when I have not bought anything. LOL. Time. So I won't be late to work ever again plus I would find time for studying.
4) There's still a lot I wanted to learn. I just thought that my top three is the most essential.

My friend thinks that I'm not ready for marriage until I learn how to cook and budget money and time. Well, he's right.


August 25, 2009

countdown to nothing.

Today is almost coming to an end, but it feels like nothing happened. It just came and in a few hours this day would go. My day to day life has become routinary. And I haven't saved that much money to afford a vacation. But I'm planning to have one by October, just so I could get out of this place. For a while. For 2 - 3 days perhaps. Experience something else, something new. Like lazy around in a beach resort...just listening to the waves the wind creates. Music playing in my earphones, as I look on to what I would want my tomorrow be. My life has been nothing but ordinary. There's nothing to brag about. I can't even pretend that there's something exciting going on.

I am not making things happen. The once-in-my-life-i-was is happening. I used to be headstrong and stubborn. Wanting everything to happen my way. I have let go of my old self. Idealism has been washed away by reality. I can not make things happen.

My want, my ideas, my will change everyday. I know I can still make things happen. The essence of life is not about having someone to share it with, but being complete in your own. So by the time life chooses you a partner to share it with, you know you have all of yourself to share. Smile. :)

August 24, 2009

:'(

Sad news in the morning. Our officemate's newborn angel was not able to make it to live to see the world. It was sad. Nine months in her tummy. Getting ready. Waiting for her. I could imagine she has already her first set of clothes, socks, diapers, and they will be pink. And everybody is excited to take a glimpse of her to see who's eyes she got. Plans about her future. Maybe her would be, three-year-old kuya has already been told that he's already a "kuya". The little boy might be excited for his little sister too.

I was told that, It happened because it was not meant to be. So it just has to be let go. Poor baby. Poor parents. If only, but it wasn't.

August 20, 2009

while u were sleeping.

Here's something I wrote while I was tending our sari-sari store.

I could only write when I'm hurting or confused or insecure. But it's hard to write when I'm satisfied and moving on with my day to day as I have thought my day would be. I'm not even thinking. It's just like I'm floating. Time moves so swiftly, even before the day's events sank in, another day is already happening. No wonder that even before an issue is resolved another is already brewing up. Attention are then diverted to this new issue, hence the cold cases.

Here's an awkward story:

I have always been alone. I like being alone. I'm getting used to the feeling of longing for someone. When the missing comes from the bottommost part of your lungs that you have to shake yourself hard to make your breathing normal. Damn. It makes you tremble, trembling and panicky. Where are you? Are you still coming? I did not notice the time, but there's too much change in everything that it's impossible not to be able to tell. Have I waited that long? Oh, I haven't looked at the mirror lately...really? I have stray white hairs? Oh my god. Do I have age lines visible? I was sleeping and woke up only now. I floated through time. I was waiting for him. That just like in a fairytale, my prince is just going to come and kiss me and wake me up. Back to life and back to living. Darn, I missed a lot already. I was not expecting that my prince will take this long. Where is he now? Have you seen him? No? Well, if you do, will you please remind him about me. Thank you, I will just be here waiting.


Oh, finally you are here. I thought you forgot. I was sleeping, did not want to wake up until you are here, but I was awaken by the mad dash of changes. I was not able to ignore them. Do I look different now? Yeah, my youth has gone, but my curves are still evident. Indeed I have stray white hairs and laugh lines. It makes me look sexier, right? I am all woman now. Grown. Too bad, I have slept in, I haven't enjoyed and discovered life to its extent. I have been sleeping. To pass the time. You look more handsome now. Where have you been? It seems like you have been busy somewhere? What made you forget about our promise? Woman? Oh, tell me about it over coffee.


You fell for another woman? That's unfortunate! Where is she now? What is she like? What's most important is now you're here. I missed you. I missed this. Hold my hand. It's been awhile. I'm sorry if I could not stop my tears. I'm overwhelmed. I'm so glad that you are here. Who is this woman who made you forget that I was waiting? So what happened? You two started fighting? Aren't all relationships bound to go through that? It's okay now. I'm here. You're back now. You know I will always understand. I'm just sorry I was asleep. I was sleeping that I was not able to go looking for you. Now you are here and I am up and ready for any chasing, for any finding. No more waiting. No more sleeping.


That's enough talking. We have our whole lives ahead for all of that. Thank you for coming back.


Goodnight dear. Now we are in each others' arms, we could sleep soundly and I will be looking forward to waking up tomorrow and seeing you like this. Doing things together. I missed this. Your warmth. The comfort and security your presence cause me.


I was hard-headed and in denial that I just slept even when I know I should go and look for you. I'm sorry. I love you. This will be another beginning of our ever after.

I don't know how to end it...so it's just as is.


August 16, 2009

not much.

Getting online is one of my necessities, even when there's really nothing much for me to do on the web. Just unending browsing. It's just comforting that you could access the rest of the world anytime. There's instant messaging, video calling, and the web search. These makes all other things easy.

We don't have lots of choices for our internet service provider here in our lousy city. Our first internet choice was okay but then there are lots of times when I couldn't connect because the network signal is poor. It was for a year contract. It was a relief when the contract ended so we could finally try another ISP. Then our next internet connection is such a failure. Failure in every way. We have it for five months already, it's a shame that it is still not stable until now. They have troubleshoot it plenty of times. Still it's not giving us the kind of service we expected from a major provider. I could say that our previous connection was way better than our present.

I am looking forward to the time when it finally is stable because I already have my own PC set-up in my room. I could study online. Get jobs online. So there is actually something I am doing while on the net.

I am counting. 1, 2, 3...



August 14, 2009

i love pink.

As I was searching on google for some pink daisies pictures, I came by this photo stream on flicker. The owner just loves pink and other cheerful colors. Just like me. They are such get-happy photos. I hope it's okay with the owner. I'll post the link here so you could see them for yourselves. Here is the link : www.flickr.com/photos/pinksherbet/sets . I hope u enjoy the photos as I have enjoyed them. I'm screaming - I love Pink! now. :)


August 12, 2009

seriously.

this is our latest picture.
taken last Sunday. 08-09-09.
Location: Their residence. Pagadian City.

August 11, 2009

I can't write.

I thought writing is easy. Just like talking, when words flow with your thoughts, but it is not. You have to think of better words to use to make what you are writing more comprehensive. It seems like I'm having this selective amnesia and just forgot about those sentence construction, even the simple and complex sentences. OMG and the ever parallelism of words to use. Like using the present/past tense or past participle through the whole paragraph. Now, this is causing me headache and actually made me search on google, "english sentence construction". I know I should go back to the basic. I didn't realize until now that basics could be this interesting.

Parts of a sentence	Description
Adjective	Describes things or people.
Adverb	Alters the meaning of the verb slightly
Article	a, an - indefinite articles the - definite articles
Conjunction	Joins words or sentences together
Interjection	A short word showing emotion or feeling
Noun	Names things
Preposition	Relates one thing to another
Pronoun	used instead of a noun to avoid repetition
Proper noun (subject)	The actual names of people or places etc.
Verb	Action or doing word

So basic, but this basic is the key to all the other complications. Joke. I mean, the key to all the important sentences in the world.

I need to go back in time. Practice this, again.

August 10, 2009

a day with u.

Four hours of travel in a non-air-conditioned bus, when passengers are sweaty and irritated. The road is bumpy and the bus could stop anytime to load and unload passengers. When drivers doesn't give a damn about getting to the destination earlier than the allocated four hours. I got on the wrong side, which means, the sun is peeping through my window. Burning. I know I am sweating and that I smell so icky.Leaving Iligan at 4 PM is a bad idea, for the sun would still have at least 2 hrs before it's time for him to set.

Even when a long bus travel is sort of a nightmare...a day with u makes it all rewarding. Just being there, seeing the things u do. Makes it real, that I am part of u.

hmmm. there's so many things on my mind now, but time for work. blog to u later. mwah!

this is him. i am his.



August 9, 2009